2011 in review:

Yup, it’s that time of the year, and unlike most years, I’ve decided to take a look backwards this year, and just see what’s happened.

Jan: Moved to Darwin, took up new position.
Feb: Climbed on the healthy bandwagon.
Mar: life
Apr: life
May: away for work for most of it
Jun: City to Surf
Jul: Half Marathon, work
Aug: Our trip to Japan. Fantastic.
Sep: Work again. Life
Oct: when was this?
Nov: last week.
Dec: Mad!

Hmm. perhaps that was a big fat fail. Lets try that again…

Big things: Moving to Darwin – got to drive across the top end and see more of the country (never. again.). Love Darwin, except the sandflies and locals. It’s not like Townsville. Spent a lot of time out field for work. Learnt that eating starch makes me fat – lost a fair bit of weight. Took up running for ‘fun’, did a half marathon and the City to Surf. Times are still nothing to write home about, but for me to look at a 5K as ‘a waddle’ and 10K as ‘a run’, when last year I moaned about running a measly 2K, and NEVER twice in a day!!, that to me is my biggest personal achievement this year. Eating healthy has become both the backbone and bane of my life, particularly when you try to eliminate starch – and it’s something I will struggle with have to manage for the rest of my life. I am so grateful for the support and love I get from my family, for without that, none of my achievements this year would’ve happened, nor would they have meant so much. Our Japanese holiday, fantastic, need to do it again. So many places, so little money.

What’s on the agenda for 2012?

I want to concentrate on my eating habits, and get them sorted out. I need to be more aware of what works for me, and come to terms with the fact I am NEVER going to be the ‘everything in moderation’ person, or the ‘just one every now and then won’t hurt’ person. That is possibly going to be the biggest challenge, but once I can get into that mindset, I can move on. Keep up with the fitness – which might be harder than necessary if I am in the field for 4 months, but I’ll have to manage somehow… I didn’t come this far to throw it all away, and goddammit, I’m going to fucking demand food without starch in it – I don’t care if they think I’m a whingey whiney little bitch, fuck them. They can cook for vegetarians, they can cook for ME. And if they want a doctors note, then I’ll fucking get them one. Wow. I knew it pissed me off last time, but I hadn’t grasped quite how much. My bad. Moving on…

I want to appreciate my family as much as possible, while I can show them in person. Chances are I may not be home this time next year, and when I do get back, the girl child will have left to take up her university life back in Queensland. She needs to know I will miss her, and that I believe in her – and I forget she’s not psychic. And he does needs to know too. I don’t want him to think I’m taking him for granted, and that I love him being here, and I love me being here. I want to be with him at 92. And then get a divorce at 100 and get in the guiness book of records!

I need to be more proactive at work – stress less, be seen to be doing stuff. My last promotion course is on in Feb, and I need to be able to do it. Plus there’s another guy on the course that I’ve worked with before, and I need to beat his ass. I need to enjoy my work – and I do – which means I need to leave it at work, and be able to switch off. I’m getting better at it, and I need to be able to help him do it too. I will possibly go away for work at the end of next year, and I’ll make the most of it. If I don’t go, then I don’t go. The money would be nice, and the experience nicer, but I’m not going to swing off a cliff over it. If I don’t go, I will enjoy being at home with my family for Christmas, and helping the girl child with her interstate move (and try not to cry too much!)…

I’d like to say that I’m going to be a kinder, more considerate person in 2012, but I don’t think I’ve got a snowflakes chance in hell. We’ll see.

 

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Well, I got up and ran.

And yes, I feel much better for having done it.

I needed to – I haven’t run for 2 whole days, and it feels like a year! Running in the morning is a great way to start the day for me, mentally.  If I do nothing else all day, at least I know I got off my ass and ran 5K this morning. I plan to do other things today too, so I now just have to make sure I do them.

 

You know something? I’m not going to the gym this morning. And I’m not going running either.

You know why? Because I half feel like going. My reasoning? If I feel like half going today, then I’ll feel like fully going tomorrow, then I’ll work my ass off and give 120% instead of 40%today.

It’s my logic. It works for me…

Honestly, I’m feeling much improved over yesterday. Sometimes I think you just have to die in the ass to get back up on top again, particularly when you’re just paddling enough to keep afloat. The lush of my life has to travel away overnight again (please – NO Krispy Kremes!), so I’ve been awake since 4am to get him off to the airport. Plenty of time for me to go for a run in the ‘cool’ of the day (if 29C can be considered cool at 7am?), then the gym, then showered and off to the movies with the child and workmates. So, because I feel capable of cramming all of those activities into such a short time frame, I’m not going to. I know I can do it, and I know if I don’t take time off to smell the roses, then they’ll all be dead before I get around to it. Metaphorically speaking… I don’t think I’ve seen a rose plant up here!

So today, I’m going to bludge, go to the flicks, eat healthy (and no, no ice cream for me today – I got one the other week without seeing a movie, and I don’t feel like one. No popcorn either, cos there’s no off switch when it comes to movie popcorn!), maybe tidy, maybe not, finish my budget planner, cook a supah healthy dinner (and take a photo of said dinner to prove I did it. He worries that I don’t look after myself when he’s not here, and if I show him I do, then I have to do it. That’s me imposing the photo deal – keeps me honest. He knows damn well I won’t do it otherwise, he”s not silly… lol). I might think of some goals I’d like to achieve in 2012 as far as health and fitness go, but I’ve only got 2 so far. We’ll see.

Woke up exhausted today…

and despite waking just about every night for hours, and usually waking up tired, this was an absolutely exhausted waking.

I’m not mentally in a bad place, so it can’t be depression or variants thereof… and I certainly haven’t done anything physically taxing, which is a different ‘in your bones’ exhaustion… it’s a more of an ‘I’m completely fucked and can’t move my ass’ kind of exhaustion. The only thing I can put it down to is my eating habits of late – although generally healthy, I’ve not been eating anywhere near enough greens or vegetables in the past week.

I was sposed to be going to the gym with my friend today. I spent an hour devising a nasty routine yesterday. It took me half an hour to drink my coffee. I don’t *feel* sick, but I really want to roll over and sleep again, so I begged off. We’re buying a new car today – that should be exciting enough for anyone, but I want to put my head under a pillow… The man of my dreams made me breakfast. Liver and bacon and onions, and although I wasn’t hungry (which is wrong, cos it’s past breakfast time), I took a mouthful and chewed. And it was the best breakfast ever, and I devoured the lot in minutes – so I’m thinking ‘Maybe I’m not eating properly, and maybe I need to keep an eye on that’.

I’m still tired, but I think I can function. Hell, I hope so. We’ve got a car to buy!

 

It’s Christmas Day…

And it feels like pretty much the same as every other day. It’s good to be home relaxing with the family though, even though ONE of those family members wishes she could go and stay at her boyfriends place. I wouldn’t mind so much, but I don’t trust the cyclone that’s lurking around to the north of us…

Started the morning with the 8 Minute Abs of Death workout. I know why it appeared to be too easy now – it’s because every second activity makes you wish you were dead, so you need something to cool down with! The oblique crunches are the hardest – they hurt like hell from yesterday, but I will persevere with them until the 9th of Jan when I get back to work. Two weeks should be long enough to see some change I’m sure, plus I’m concentrating on form and technique rather than quantity… Ha! Who am I kidding?!? At the moment I’m lucky if I can complete the exercises for a minute without breaking form! Even if I can pull that off I’ll consider myself better off!!

That was followed by 20 minutes of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred – Level 1 of course. While the exercises were relatively easy, I worked up a sweat and was glad when it was over.  Lets see if I can keep that up for the whole 30 days. I get bored easily, so the lush of my life is going to do it too, or at least keep me company while I do it – that should keep me on the straight and narrow. After all, it’s only 30 days, isn’t it??

Needless to say, as it’s Christmas, we’ve eaten a bit today, even though not particularly hungry. I had sardines (in tomato sauce!) on crackers for breakfast, two poached eggs with ham for brunch, and two fruit mince pies (I like them, but this year they’re giving me a stomach ache, so next year I might leave them out), some nuts and deliciously decadent chocolates for lunch. They’re that good, you can’t eat more than 5 without feeling ill – definitely worth it, and luckily only once a year!!

A little tight this morning…

but not too bad. I went to the gym yesterday to help a friend get motivated. Turns out both of us went cos the other one was going – which is what it’s all about I guess.

Did 2.5ish on the dreadmill (ugh) then another 2.5ish when she arrived and had to warm up, then did her ‘Power hour’ workout. Series of 12 exercises repeated 3 times. I find repetition boring. I like working to a time, and I don’t like to have to stop what I’m doing to read what’s next, or to ‘rest’ between sets. Too impatient?? 

But, I do like the way my muscles are sore afterwards – makes me know that I’m doing something! I don’t feel the same about the ache in my lower back though, I think it’s either squats or v holds – that indicates a distinct lack of muscle tone, and needs to be worked on in a sensible fashion. I have no hip adductor capacity either. Don’t know why, it’s just not in my repertoire of actions/activities over my lifetime. Something that I also feel I should work on – although in all honesty, wtf for?? The only time I need those muscles is doing gym workouts. No adductors = no gym workout = no adductors. I mean, if I was going to actually use them in my day to day life, wouldn’t I have them???

(ps. I suck at nuclear physics too. Any physics actually. I don’t use them everyday either)

*sigh*

My mother asked me why I was losing weight today.

There was nothing I could say that didn’t sound shallow. But it’s not. I’m doing it for ME.

If I could have one wish for next year – it would be that it will be as good as this year was, for every part of my life, not just the losing weight one.