I am still alive…

Just trying to get back on the bandwagon.

Had that week of gastro yuck, where I had to eat meal replacement shakes and toast and not much else. Scales went down, but it’s a bullshit reduction largely based on muscle loss, so I wasn’t unhappy when they went up again as I recovered.

Then my mother came to visit for 4 days (haven’t seen her for three years, so it was very nice :), and while my eating wasn’t really even what I’d call ‘unhealthy’ or ‘overeating’, it was not the right stuff for me (ie potatoes and cheese), nor the right amount – although I did temper it a lot by making reasonable choices and trying to look at the portion size, I felt like I’d eaten too much, and coupled with two weeks of inactivity, I was feeling fat and bloated…

So today when I went to the diet dood, I didn’t want to weigh myself. I just spent ten minutes talking to him about what I did and realised that it really wasn’t *that* bad. It took verbalising it to realise that how I behaved, was exactly like a ‘normal’ person would – how I would have behaved before I started being careful with what I was eating. One day I will be ‘normal’ again, and I’ll have to deal with it, so I manned up, and got on the scales. In two weeks, with gastro, no exercise and too much food, I lost 1 kg in two weeks. According to him anyway. It also said that I had lost 3% body fat, which I think is just bullshit (and told him as much. He said it’s so variable, unless we do it under the same conditions every time, then it’s not a good measure!).

The point of the exercise is:

  • It’s about the journey, not the destination.
  • Even when you think you’ve failed, sometimes it’s not failing at all.
  • The choices we make count.

I thought I has screwed up, but I’m lucky I don’t suffer from binge eating or emotional eating. I don’t have snacks in my house, and I’m over buying them at the shop.  I try and eat what I know I should eat… sometimes I eat stuff that’s not so good for me, but as long as it’s the exception rather than the rule, then it’s fine. I still have a way to go, but it’s more about how I feel and what I look like rather than how much I weigh. I use the scales as a tool to make sure I’m going in the right direction, and so far, so good.

The challenge for the next 5 weeks is the three weeks I will spend away from home, being served deep fried everything. I told the diet dood that I will rise to the challenge, and loose half a kilogram between now and 13 Feb – I needed a goal so I just plucked one out of my ass. We’ll see how I go 🙂

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