I’m not happy.

I have spent the best part of 6 months being very thoughtful about what I ate. I know what’s not good for me, and I know that having some junk food every once in a while won’t kill me.

So why is it that for the past three days, I have been unable to get full? I know how much I should be eating – I know the signs that my body makes when it needs more meat (usually ‘Hmm. I need to eat steak tonight’) or more greens (usually ‘Hmmm. I need to eat more greens tonight’), so why is it that for the past three days, I haven’t been able to fill up? It’s not like I have a craving for anything in particular (or if I do, it’s so obscure I don’t know what I would need to eat to meet that need, therefore the multivitamin and mineral tab I’ve been eating should take care of any of those). I am not hungry – I know I’ve had enough to eat and my stomach’s not making hungry noises, so why eat so much? And bread? Which I can usually say no to. Why?

The only thing I’ve done is more exercise. Which doesn’t really make sense, because I’ve done it before and not had this problem. I don’t *think* it’s my willpower, I know it’s not good for me. I can’t be eating properly… I need to go back to basics and look at what I’m eating and do it right.

I really don’t need this right now. I have to go away for three weeks, to where my meals are cooked for me and are at set meal times. No snacks provided. I hope to buy my own while I’m there, but I probably won’t get out to the shops for a week so I will have to take it all down with me. If this eating rubbish keeps it up for three weeks I will have to go and see the doc. I am annoyed and I am stressed.

And I am DEFINITELY not happy.

(one theory I am trying to work on is the type of exercise I’ve been doing is having an affect: circuits. The muscle that I am building needs to have more glucose, which the reduction of fat and low sugar diet can’t provide, so I’m eating more to fuel more muscle. Soon it will even itself out and go back to normal – once those stores are up. Carb loading to the extreme. I think I need to work on that a bit more…)


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