Monday, Monday…

Oh what a day! 

Started off well, and then began to deteriorate 30 minutes in… My waddle this morning that I thought I was pushing myself on? Not to the point of exhaustion, but at least a decent clip? Yeah, no. Turns out it was the same as every other damn speed I do. Well, that’s not strictly true, because it’s a the faster end of the scale so I really have nothing to be down on my ass about – but it felt like I was running!

Okay. Now that I look at it, it’s not really so bad at all. My pace was 6:01 min/k, and my best to date (I think) is 5:51, then 5:57 – so it’s nothing to sneeze at. I’ll stop whinging about it now.

In other news…

I need a root canal, and apparently have done so since 2010. Shits me to tears, as it doesn’t hurt and isn’t giving me any grief, but it’s something I have to have done if I want to go and play out in the weeds with the big kids. Tell you what though, if I was paying for it, I wouldn’t be having it done! Tomorrow morning at 0730 I have to be back for it, so I’m actually lucky that he’s going to squeeze me in quickly, otherwise it’d be months away, and I wouldn’t be able to go play while I was waiting.

No running for me tomorrow. I might take my togs in to work and do something after work for a bit. Mind you, if my brain feels like tonight (ie. Like it’s been sucked out my left ear, shaken violently and put back through my right ear) then I won’t much feel like it. I need to maintain the rage though.

Today’s been pretty good on the food front. I said ‘No’ to a particularly yummy looking choc cake and custard in the fridge at work, and luckily I’d run out of mega sugary museli bars in my drawer. I really felt like miso soup, but had none on me (have fixed this by throwing two sachets in my bag for tomorrow!), and I was still strong! Lunch was a meal replacement and a very small portion of leftovers from last night, so I was happy with that. Since coming home I’ve eaten jerky (we’re making some to take with us. IF it lasts that long!) and Allbran (okay, it’s bad. I know it’s full of sugar – but it gets me going… if you know what I mean!!). Think I’ll have another shake for dinner and some veges. I’ll take the chicken for lunch tomorrow – assuming I’m up to chewing that is!

Sunday over already??

Well, that was a fun day! Started off by going for a 5k waddle this morning… For some reason I chose to do a workout rather than a free run, and it’s got me stuffed why, because I always find I’m disgruntled for some reason or another, and today it was TOO SLOW! I need to tweak my zones. Sounds self indulgent I know, but there you have it; my blue is too big and too slow, and my green not big enough. Bleh. Anyhoo, I kept going at the end of the 18 minutes and went for distance – I accidentally included that 100m I missed on yesterdays distance too!

While it was by no means spectacular, at least it was 5K under 30 mins. I want to do it in 28, but I’m still 4-500m off usually at that time. I’ll crack it by the end of the year – I hope!!

Sunday already??

I slept like a rock! Literally – I still feel like I’m asleep even after a coffee, and that’s not a good feeling!

Went to see the Hunger Games last night, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Having said that, I haven’t read the book… my daughter has, and she was less than impressed with the movie. She also liked Avatar though, so I’m saying she gets her odd taste in movies off her father 🙂 Still not sure if I’d buy the movie on DVD (maybe I will), but I wouldn’t go to see it again at the flicks. Mind you, there aren’t many I’d see more than once (George of the Jungle and The Wall being the leaders to date), but it was an okay 2.5 hours. Seen much worse.

And I ate an icecream, and shared some popcorn. I wasn’t going to, and then remembered I’d been looking forward to it all bloody week, and that I’d most likely regret it later and eat shit to compensate – so I ate it. And I’m heavier this morning, but I don’t regret it cos it was damn fine! And now, I’m getting my gear on, and going for a waddle 🙂

Wish me luck!!

Okay, I got this.

Things I’ve been eating lately and know I shouldn’t be:

ice cream (even the soy stuff)
chocolate (even the sugar free diary free stuff)
biscuits and cake (they’re just so not worth it anyway)
bread (how about we go back to 2 slices on the weekends, hmmm?)
juice (remember how grossly sweet and thick it tasted? Before you drank the rest of the carton that is!)
huge meals (are just bullshit. You know it. Portion size is the BOMB!)

There you go. It’s all out there in all its awful truth.

And I need to remember that people out there have it way worse than me as far as eating habits and addictions go. So STFU and get on with the program.

 20 days till D Day. That’s Departure Day. 🙂

I think I’ll have to find this one, even if only to know I’m not insane starting running after 40!

Books, j'adore

There are some books you pick up and you just know the story is going to be about you. You may know the author so well you feel he or she is a kindred spirit. You may have read the book a hundred times. You may love the topic of the book so much that there’s no room in your heart for anything but acceptance and understanding. I have encountered a number of books like this over the years – these are books that don’t change your life so much as reinforce that the path you’re on is the right one. For me, Bingham’s memoir on becoming an “adult-onset athlete” is one of those books.

I’ve been enjoying his articles in Runner’s World since I started running myself in October 2010, and when I saw that he had a book out, I put it on my Christmas list along with

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Enough is enough.

I have spent the better part of the past two months making excuses for my eating and lack of exercise, and I’m over it.

I’m heavier. I’m flabbier. I’m eating badly. I’m not exercising properly.  I’m not enjoying my life (or my body) as much as I did a few months back. And I’m sick of it.

‘Because I’m going away’ should not be an excuse.
‘Because I’m away’ should not be an excuse.
‘Because I’m back’ should not be an excuse.

In fact, not only should they not be an excuse, I will not allow ANY of the above to be an excuse anymore – not for my eating, nor for my exercise.  They can be challenges, but my god, they will not be excuses! No more!!

This week for example – I was feeling sluggish and not comfy in my body. Yesterday, I thought I’d eaten relatively well by dinner, then I looked back and looked critically at it. For breakfast, I had Allbran and milk. Many people would think ‘And??’, but I know that Allbran has too much sugar in it for me, and too many calories. Cows milk I’m not supposed to drink (and boy, the snot this morning running down my throat reminded me very insistently!). Piece of fruit for morning tea, and my nuts. Check – that much is okay. Before lunch, a meal replacement shake. Not so bad, but then I went and ate lunch as well. Not a big lunch, and at least I managed to resist the bread for the first time in days, but I really needed to have one or the other, not both. Afternoon snack – two twin packs of biscuits and a piece of cake (little serves in packets). Again, not bad for many people, for me – complete bullshit. Didn’t need to eat them, didn’t even particularly want them, but they were there. Why? Cos I grabbed them myself when I left the mess (food hall) at lunch. After work, a peanut butter and jam sandwhich on my fav seeded bread. Mhmm. Maybe for lunch, but not as a ‘just because I like eating it’ snack – that’s just CRAZY!! Out to dinner before a show: he had creamy pasta, I had pizza. Proper pizza… thin and crispy base with not much on top. Again, not bad, but given I had more than half of it, again, waaaay too excessive.

I did not bust my ass off to lose weight by eating well and exercising only to sabotage myself. That’s how I got overweight and sad in the first place! Denial. So, the denial is over. There are no excuses, there is only myself. I am responsible for what I do and how I behave, and I am answerable only to myself. I deserve better than what I am letting myself be at the moment, and it’s time to change.

I have two weeks left before I go away for the better part of four months. That’ll be four months of having no time to myself, of having meals prepared for me (if I’m really unlucky. If I’m lucky then we’ll have individual rations – at least I get to pick what I want to eat and when!), of eating food that’s designed for people doing strenuous labour, not sitting on your ass on a computer for 13hrs a day, of three choices of carb in the one meal. Of not being able to run (some say we will do some running, personally I’ve never had the time or the opportunity), of not being able to train properly. Of not being able to SHOWER after any activity I will get to manage!

Currently I’m looking up activities I can do using my own body weight, and thinking short bursts of activity over the course of a day might be the thing to plan at this stage – remembering I’ll have boots and a uniform on… so no jumping jacks (hate those fuckers anyway, even in bare feet!), plus the ground is likely to be rocky. The other thing I’m going to do is take a tape measure. I’ll measure all of me before I go, and just keep an eye on one or two measurements while I’m out there.  That will have to suffice.

Okay, enough. My mind is made up, and I’m made of steel. Time to move on.

We’re going to have weather today.

There’s a pending cyclone off the coast, which they’re guessing (okay, so they have degrees and it should be more than guessing. I just happen to believe that makes it ‘educated guessing’) will develop and cross later today/tonight. It’s currently 0236 here in gusty Darwin, and the wind/rain woke me up at 2. Hell, that’s my excuse and I’m running with it.

Yesterday at work we spent the day cyclone preping, and today we’ve got the day off. It’s easier to keep people at home than bring them in and have to send them home halfway through the day when the schools close, so the big kahuna made the call, I’m running with it. It’s a bit annoying though, because I will have been back at work for three days and haven’t done a lick of my real job – things don’t do themselves donchya know??

Anyhoo – we’ve got plenty of prep at home to do, which will have to wait until it’s light. Hopefully the weather gods will be kind and keep it off until then so we can relash the pile of stuff downstairs and clean up the yard a little. Will also ready the area inside for the chickens should the need arise. Just in case!! Luckily we don’t need food or water – panic buying is such a bitch. Mind you, we did drop in for a few items yesterday after work and it really seemed to be quite normal. I’ll see if there’s anymore batteries hiding in the cupboard before I venture back to the shops though.

I really shouldn’t write at this time of the morning – it’s even more incoherent than usual!!

I’m pretty pleased with myself today…

only because of my BFA this morning… I decided to try and do more than just the bare minimum today, and I’m glad I did. My pushups were 9 more than my previous best, my situps – good god. I don’t know when I last did 80 (I spose I must’ve done that many somewhere :), and my run!! After 3 weeks of doing SFA, I made my time 12 seconds shorter! Hell, I would’ve been stoked if I’d managed 13 minutes again, and had no idea I was going so fast.

I’m still getting used to the idea that:

a) I’m not the slowest person anymore, and

b) I can actually overtake people who are not dead yet younger and skinnier than me.

 

So, that’s why I’m pleased today. Tomorrow, I’ll have to deal with the diet dood and why I’m heavier than when I left, and why I’ve eaten 5 pcs of bread today. *sigh*. But today, I’m pleased.