I am still alive…

Just trying to get back on the bandwagon.

Had that week of gastro yuck, where I had to eat meal replacement shakes and toast and not much else. Scales went down, but it’s a bullshit reduction largely based on muscle loss, so I wasn’t unhappy when they went up again as I recovered.

Then my mother came to visit for 4 days (haven’t seen her for three years, so it was very nice :), and while my eating wasn’t really even what I’d call ‘unhealthy’ or ‘overeating’, it was not the right stuff for me (ie potatoes and cheese), nor the right amount – although I did temper it a lot by making reasonable choices and trying to look at the portion size, I felt like I’d eaten too much, and coupled with two weeks of inactivity, I was feeling fat and bloated…

So today when I went to the diet dood, I didn’t want to weigh myself. I just spent ten minutes talking to him about what I did and realised that it really wasn’t *that* bad. It took verbalising it to realise that how I behaved, was exactly like a ‘normal’ person would – how I would have behaved before I started being careful with what I was eating. One day I will be ‘normal’ again, and I’ll have to deal with it, so I manned up, and got on the scales. In two weeks, with gastro, no exercise and too much food, I lost 1 kg in two weeks. According to him anyway. It also said that I had lost 3% body fat, which I think is just bullshit (and told him as much. He said it’s so variable, unless we do it under the same conditions every time, then it’s not a good measure!).

The point of the exercise is:

  • It’s about the journey, not the destination.
  • Even when you think you’ve failed, sometimes it’s not failing at all.
  • The choices we make count.

I thought I has screwed up, but I’m lucky I don’t suffer from binge eating or emotional eating. I don’t have snacks in my house, and I’m over buying them at the shop.  I try and eat what I know I should eat… sometimes I eat stuff that’s not so good for me, but as long as it’s the exception rather than the rule, then it’s fine. I still have a way to go, but it’s more about how I feel and what I look like rather than how much I weigh. I use the scales as a tool to make sure I’m going in the right direction, and so far, so good.

The challenge for the next 5 weeks is the three weeks I will spend away from home, being served deep fried everything. I told the diet dood that I will rise to the challenge, and loose half a kilogram between now and 13 Feb – I needed a goal so I just plucked one out of my ass. We’ll see how I go 🙂

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Waiting

Am currently waiting for one of the medical fraternity to tell me I’m sick and to go home. In 50 mins, they’ve called one person. Actually I’m kind’ve grateful that I’m not seriously ill- but if I was, they wouldve seen me by now. Jerks.
Have been up for the most part since 2 am, and a lot of getting up close and personal with the toilet- shall we leave it at that?
More annoyed that I won’t get my run in today, but i’ll put in extra once I can get outside again (if you catch my drift)… Grumbles. And not just my stomach…